How Rejection Affects Us - Ps Hilda Samuel

The natural need of all humans is to be accepted, loved, and appreciated or admired. When we do not get this from those closest to us, we feel rejected. A strong emotion in the soul area begins to rear its head causing the person to have feelings of ‘rejection’. This affects people in different ways but it nevertheless does cause some damage. The most common damaging feelings it produces are:

• To feel hurt
• To feel fear
• To feel offended
• To feel less worthy (loss of self-worth)

Hard time giving/showing love Make negative assumptions
Unforgiveness REJECTED
Hurt, Fear, Anger, Pain.
Offended, Depressed
Live in denial
Hard to extend mercy Need for approval
Feel depressed/oppressed Pain leading to addiction
Low self-esteem
People pleaser
Need to control Trust issues “ Be nice to me”/”love me” demands
Figure 1 – Effects of Rejection

When the root of offence sets in, the fruit we often see could be all or some of the following:
• We can experience shame, sadness, grief, anger, lust, lying, deceit, bad marriages, bad relationships, divorce, rebellion (often leading to anger against God), addictions, negative feelings and negative emotions.
• When we are operating under the fear of rejection, all too often we end up pushing away the very friends, family and helpers who care the most. This results in them pulling away. This then is perceived as rejection and the vicious cycle continues compounding the feeling of rejection.
• We crave for recognition, acceptance and love from friends/family/church who may have rejected us in the first place.
• We begin to give room to fear, anxiety, and worry leading to depression and oppression (feeling inadequate all the time), lust and other temptations.
• We develop a low self-esteem which invariably results in us not speaking up or expressing how we feel (because we lack the courage to do it fearing more rejection). This can lead to our walking away from family/friends/church/work just to avoid being hurt more.
• We lose our identity. Self-pity becomes a lifestyle. We lead shallow lives, afraid of the ‘monster of rejection’ within.
• We may mimic ways of dressing, talking, thinking, believing and behaviours of people who are seen by us as more popular, accepted or have it all together.
• We may live in denial of the feeling of rejection, only to crumble when an unpleasant experience causes them to feel rejected. This unpleasant experience could be something common as being instructed to do something at the workplace which we believe has been already done well by us. There is a need for constant affirmation as the lack of it amplifies their feeling of rejection. This may result in a need for self-imposed performance orientation.
• We may develop a greed (a deep desire) for love and attention. This greed for attention could result in addictions such as to pornography, sexual pursuits, rape or even murder.
• The pain of rejection can lead to the building of strongholds and addictions.
• Worrying about rejection can turn in to anxiety and this in turn can become a disorder. Anxiety interferes with the enjoyment of life and disrupts our work, relationships and self-perception.
• We may feel pierced, wounded, despised, and shattered.

Many of these effects or fruits of rejection are expressed in the Bible as emotions experienced by various people. This means that God fully understands how we feel and wants to set us free. Jesus’ ministry is described in Luke 4:18-19 as, “The Spirit of the Lord is on Me; because of this He has anointed Me to proclaim the Gospel to the poor. He has sent me to heal the broken-hearted, to proclaim deliverance to the captives, and new sight to the blind, to set at liberty those having been crushed, to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord" MKJV. Jesus came to save and to heal our hearts (soul).

Isaiah 53:3-7 says, “He is despised and rejected of men; a Man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as it were a hiding of faces from Him, He being despised, and we esteemed Him not. Surely He has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions; He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was on Him; and with His stripes we ourselves are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, each one to his own way; and Jehovah has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed, and He was afflicted; yet He opened not His mouth. He is brought as a lamb to the slaughter; and as a sheep before its shearers is dumb, so He opened not His mouth” MKJV.

How we overcome the Effects of Rejection:
The natural tendency of humans in dealing with their sense of rejection is by giving in to anger and fear, blaming others, wanting to take revenge, or by hiding from the pain and hurt and ultimately finding ourselves depressed and gravitating towards addictions.
Christians may try to deal with the effects of rejection by avoiding sin, blocking emails and the sources of temptations, just being nice in our own way, or by going to counsellors and psychologists.
But we must overcome the effects of rejection by using God’s assurances, help, methods and the resources in Scripture. Here is how we do it, by addressing the root. God gives us the instructions.

Step 1 - Overcome the Strong Man: Mark 3:27 says, “In fact, no one can enter a strong man’s house without first tying him up. Then he can plunder the strong man’s house.”
“When a strongman, fully armed, guards his own palace, his goods are in peace. But when a stronger than he comes upon him, he takes from him all his armour in which he trusted and divides his spoils” Luke 11:21-22 (NKJV)
The strongman is a ruler of darkness. As mentioned in Ephesians 6:12, he is an influence who can control governments, laws, and the thinking of people.
Pray as Daniel did: Repent, persist in prayer and fasting. This can be a powerful tool for overcoming the strongmen.

Step 2 – Forgiveness: Forgive the offenders and ask forgiveness for yourself. Matthew 6:14-15 says, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Acts 3:19 says, “Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.”

Step 3 – Deliverance: Seek deliverance from the root of rejection. (Use the attached Prayer of Deliverance from Rejection)

Step 4 – Replacement: Replace the root of rejection with God’s unconditional love and acceptance.
Ephesians 3:17-19 says, “so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”
The essence of Ephesians 1: 3-14 is:
• He has blessed us.
• Chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless.
• Adopted us in sonship through Jesus Christ.
• He has lavished on us His glorious grace.
• He has freely given us redemption, restoration, forgiveness, healing and salvation.
• He has given us wisdom and understanding.
• His good pleasure in making us know the will of His heart.
• In Him we have His hope and are included in Jesus Christ.
• When you believe you are marked with His seal—the promised Holy Spirit

Giver of good fruit Holy (Like Jesus)
Warm and Joyous
Fear of God ACCEPTED Merciful
Brotherly kindness
Giving & Forgiving
Fruitfulness to the Lord & others Good relationships
Endeavours to lead life with receiving things from above rather than worldly

Figure 2 - After Healing

 
Prayer for Deliverance from Rejection

Renounce inherited rejection:
The person prays:
In the name of Jesus, I renounce the inherited spirit of rejection that has been passed down to me by my ancestors. I forgive my ancestors for passing that spirit down to me, but I renounce it and reject it from my life.

Renounce all forms of rejection (fear of rejection, self-rejection, and perceived rejection):
The person prays:
In the name of Jesus, I renounce every spirit of rejection. I renounce the spirits of fear of rejection, self-rejection, and perceived rejection that may have entered my life when (list all identified entry points for rejection) or that entered at any other time.
In the name of Jesus, I renounce and repudiate the spirit of rejection. I close every
door against the spirit of rejection and cancel every legal right that rejection has had to operate in my life. I command the spirit of inherited rejection, fear of rejection, self-rejection and perceived rejection to loose their hold on me now in the name of Jesus.

Casting out the spirits:
The minister prays:
In the name of Jesus, I address the spirit of rejection. I address the spirit of inherited
rejection, fear of rejection, self-rejection, and perceived rejection and I cast you out of (name the person being prayed for)'s life and command you to leave him now. Your legal right to operate in his life has been taken away and you must leave now, in the name of Jesus, and never come back. Spirit of rejection, I expel you now, in the name of Jesus, and forbid you to ever operate in his life again.
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